Eeee well that's August will and truly over, and what a month it's been.
I went to the internet shop to find out how to get pornography on me computer tv, not for me you understand, for Cecil. Well he still gets urges and I'm always that busy scrubbing the steps and gossiping about them down the street. They've moved in. Got themselves to the top of the council list. Oh yes. The dirty beggars. And this isn't even a council street so you can guess whose paying for it. HE apparently is the boss of British Rail or is it National Express. I can't remember but there's replacement bus services involved, and comes from S-C-O-T-L-A-N-D. Now you know me, I like the Scotch, I think as a race they're a nice diversion, something to take your mind off the house prices. But I'll be honest, I'm not that comfortable with them in me street. They breed like rabbits. They do. And before you know it this street will be overrun with them, asking after each other, having ceilidhs and battering everything in sight. Mind you, Cecil knows all about that so maybe it'll not seem so strange.
So pornography on a computer tv. It's not possible for a shop to give me the details. The man in the shop was adamant. His career hit the skids shortly after Prince Charming came out. Now that was a man. Eeeee you wouldn't mind someone like that having a go at you. If Cecil looked like that when he was learning me I'd not have minded the marks so much. But anyway, he wouldn't give me the details. Told me to go Google. The dirty beggar. The dirty filthy lech. Eee it makes me feel young again. That biker who lived down the street, now he used to know how to treat a lady. I always go weak at the knees when I see a can of WD40. I have a sly chuckle when I read the instructions on it, cos we used it for another reason. As lubrication so that he could penetrate me. Anally. And his mates would have seconds. Eeee they were the days.
So then I ask my grandson Dezza. He's only eleven, and told me what websites to go to. Eeee they were shocking and make no mistake. Perfect for Cecil. So now he pleases himself if you know what I mean. Eee saucy, eh?
1 comment:
Eeeeeeey. Hello dearie.
I was just wondering whereabouts you lived, as your street sounds very much like mine. We've got some of those people, you know, W-E-L-S-H, along the street. He's a lorry driver, of all things. It reminds me of when I was a girl. I'd often be hogtied and attached to the crash barriers on the M6 for the pleasure and convenience of various passing motorists, while Leonard, my husband, would sell them tea and baked bean sarnies. We ate well in those days. So many memories. Well, I say when I was a girl, I would have been in my 40s by the time the motorways opened.
Anyway, dearie, I must go as my Leonard's bag is nearly full.
Sweetness
Esmerelda.
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