So. That family across the street. Next to Slutty Susie.
Lovely family there are, a credit to the street. I wish my kids where like them. Very religious. I think that they're them Catholics that you get. I see them. I see them three times a week traipsing up the street no matter what the weather, going to church. Church! In this day and age. It's enough to make an old lady smile. But I won't. And I'll tell you why.
This pilgrimage they're going on. To Canterbury Cathedral of all places. Now I had a lovely cream tea in Canterbury, and it only cost me 69p in 1972, so I have nothing against Canterbury. I wonder if that tea room is still open. I remember my Cecil eyeing up all the waitresses. Well he had to in them days, I was as dry as a desert.
This pilgramage is by coach. Luxury Air Conditioned Coach. I asked them, I said 'When do you walk on the burning coals?'. They just looked at me. There's not even broken glass for the kids to try out. It sounds more like a Wallace Arnold day trip to me. Where's the suffering? God isn't interested unless there's suffering. I tried telling them, cos if there's anyone who know's about suffering it's me. Ethel. Cecil does a bit, but he got a bit of his brain blown out in the Somme so he doesn't remember, which is a blessing. But I remember. Oooo it ooozed for days it did, stinging pus. And then Cecil told me to try nettles on it, but that's a mistake I won't make again. Nettles and stinging pus on your clam is not something I care to remember. But it made me closer to god, it did. He loves suffering.
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Ethel!
It's so lovely to see you on the introwet.
I wouldn't know anything about it if it weren't for me Grandson Shane. You know him. I don't think he's me real grandson because he's ONE OF THEM IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
I can't say anything too loud because he's in the room with me now. Actually, he's typing this for me because I can't work it meself.
These computers give me the collywobbles. They's like a cross between a gramaphone, a telephone and one of my George's dirty books.
But my Shane is a godsend because he's run off a load of dirty pictures for me on this little printing press what he's got stuck on it.
So I don't need to go uploaded if I want a quick fiddle with me trouble.
I've never seen such big members. Not even when the yanks came visiting in the blackout. I think Shane's interested too because as I said, HE'S ONE OF THEM (i'm not - Shane.)
I've never spoken to him about it. Well, what can you say? Perhaps he hasn't had any lady friends because he's just a bit funny looking.
Course, that's not my Gene's fault. Beautiful girl she is. No, that comes from his father's side....you know what he's like. Gypsy stock he comes from. That's why I always put me pension book and good glasses in the bread bin when he comes visiting. You can never be too careful.
Well, I'd better be going now, Ethel. Shane is looking a bit impatient. I think he'd rather be sucking on a big man's cock IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
Also, it's time for me pills and I don't want me wandering womb to start playing up again. I've only just got the last lot off the carpet.
Can't come to bingo tonight. Watched the whole Emmerdale omnibus this afternoon and it's worn me out. Will be up and about again within the next fortnight. Tata, dear.
Right, that's enough isn't it, love? You can go downline now and switch it all off. I've had enough of talking to Ethel. I never have liked her. I only pray that she goes before I do so that I can have her lettuce spinner.
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