The High Street

My High Street

Hello again readers. Now I wouldn't normally be up and about at this time of the evening, but there's a rumour of a bowel movement so I best be around, I wouldn't want to miss anything.

Also my Cecil is off 'cruising' he says, now before you say anthing, I know the boating lake closed years ago, it got filled in ten years ago after that child drowned, it were my Craig, god love 'im, and it's a Tescos now, oooh they do a lovely rice pudding they do, reminds me of the ones me mam used to make during the war, so anyway, my Cecil I know he's not talking watersports. No, cruising is when a man of a certain age, looks to make sex with another man of a certain age. He must be a certain age otherwise he'll be one of them paedosexes you read about. So my Cecil will be out till around 3am. He says he likes to unload three of four times and to be honest I'm grateful for the distraction. He's always been very fertile, he has, cos normally a man of his age wouldn't be able to have an erection nevermind maintain one for six hours, but he came from good stock. Not like that Charlie fella across the street. Big hairy hands and never shaves. Eeeee the stubble burn he gives me, and me at my age.

So, I'm here on me own, waiting for the nectarine I had yesterday to pass on and I got to thinking about the shops in the high street. We've got a lovely wee high street, there's a Trinity Hospice, a Dallas Fried Chicken, a Kentucky Fried Chicken, a Texas Fried Chicken, a Tennessee Fried Chicken, a Louisana Fried Chicken and a Chicken Cottage. Oh and a Chicken Delight and a Halal Chicken. There's a Mississipi Chicken, a Memphis Chicken, a Maryland Chicken and a Philadephia Turkey Hut. They closed down. It's empty now. Plus there's a Chanstons Estate Agents, a Move Now Estate Agents, a Foxtons but everyone knows their rubbish, a MGH Estate Agents, a Grenville and Daughters Estate Agents (Daughters! It's disgusting. A man shouldn't give his business to his daughters, they'll ruin it, everyone knows that), there's a Great Times Estate Agents, a Harvey Shield and Clarks Estate Agents, a Nindjani Estate Agents (I don't go in there on account of the I won't say), a Habitas Estate Agents, a Homes4U Estate Agents, a HomeSweetHome Estate Agents, a Johnsons Estate Agents and a PoundPlus. There's a British Heart Foundation shop, but their stuff is rubbish, it is. I bought a book there for a pound, read it, didn't like it and they wouldn't even give me my money back. They said "Mrs Greeeene,", now I was pleased they used my name, manners doesn't cost anything, they said "Your pound was used to buy a heart for Mrs Duboilleix, and we can't take it out again'.

Well, I was black affronted. To think my money was used to put a British heart into a French lady. Ooooooh it's enough to make me swear, and that's swearing. And then she said it wasn't a British heart, it was an Irish one! An Irish one! Those Irish who bombed us to smithereens during the war, and I'm paying for an Irish heart to be put in a French lady. And THEN they said no no no, it was used for RESEARCH.

RESEARCH

My good money being used to buy pens and books, and not helping people who need hearts. Well that'll be the last time I use the British Heart Foundation. Their loss.

I wonder if my Cecil's doing the bareback this evening. He's a great fan.