My first internet

Eeeeee readers, did I ever tell you the story of Cecil's invention? Oooo it were proper lovely, it were. My Cecil was always good w 'is hands.

He did most of his inventions during the war and let me tell you times was tough. I used to spend all me time talking to me sister on the phone. I say phone, it were actually two tin cans (eee, tin was rare in them days) joined together with string. You made do. You had to.

Now Cecil comes home from drinking outside the gents toilets, like he did every day,.and he's holding two dozen eggs. Two dozen! I'd never seen the like, never. And he had an empty box of Choco Krispies (you'll remember them - there were the attempt at relaunching Coco Pops by linking them to the Rice Krispies family, and it failed miserably) and he has this box with the front cut out of it.

Next thing, he tips the eggs all over me scullery floor, gets a felt tipped pen and starts writing all the letters of the alphabet on the bottom bits of the egg box. He only had 24 spaces so he missed out Q and Z. He looks at me and says, 'Look, it's a computer' and I remember saying to him, it's a makeshift keyboard and a cardboard box . But it were enough. The next thing I know, I'm getting touched up by the six of the miners from the pit at the end of our street, Cecil's downloading hardcore animal porn into his mobile phone (it were a wire brush but we made do, you had to) and I'm getting orders from herbal viagra.

It were a funny sort of day, but after you've had six big, filthy coal miners rubbing coal dust all over your smudge with their big fat fingers, and a lump of coal in your mouth to chew on while they do their what for, you can't go back to the one Cecil, can you?